Are first trimester blues even a thing? The first trimester is full of fatigue, and awfulness. Read about a few ways you can overcome the tired, and feel more like yourself again!
The Struggle
There’s an unescapable pull coming from a comfort zone rooted so deep in my subconscious, that I hardly recognize it. The pull wants me to sleep, complain, stubbornly push away my vegetables, and try pulling others into my vortex of self pity. I flash back to tear soaked cheeks and my childhood, likely crying for no other reason than needing a nap and a snack. Flash forward to today.
Relating at 31 years old to my unreasonable, toddler self, I ask what on earth is happening to me. I’m standing in our kitchen (in the middle of winter) surrounded by our warm, beautiful home but all I can see are piled up dishes, an oven I haven’t turned on in weeks and laundry I’m too tired to do. I feel like I’m falling behind, numb, in a complete standstill as the world passes me by. In my head, I’m in the water, watching the slack in a tow rope pull tighter as the boat pulls ahead, just waiting for the snap to jerk me forward. I watch it happening, I’m fully aware of it, tears roll down my cheeks because I know I am more than capable of softening the snap – but I can’t. I just watch the rope pulling tighter. Daring it. Waiting to see what happens. This oddly familiar feeling comes over me. This stubborn toddler wants to make her own mistakes, feel the fall out and experience what the hard way feels like.
The blues stay just long enough to shake things up and keep me on my toes, allowing me to practice escaping their clutches. Days can be very good, but they don’t seem to come with too many in a row. Even though I know what I should be doing to make myself feel better, doesn’t mean I can bring myself to do it. No matter what my supportive spouse says, or what my logical self knows, or what the high achievers I follow on Instagram are saying to me – the toddler inside is a fickle and non-negotiating beast. I’m singing the first trimester blues.
The Reality
If you’re about to have your first baby, if you’re trudging through first trimester blues, wondering where your former, go-getter self went, I think we are going to be ok. If you find your deepest ambitions have taken a backseat (like this blog for example), I want you to shift your mindset. Think about those deepest ambitions and believe that you are not falling behind on anything at all. This is a very special time and your productivity factor has just been granted a temporary vacation. A sabbatical if you will!
I fully believe every woman’s experience in pregnancy is unique – but if you’re struggling with healthy eating, exercise motivation, keeping up with chores and personal mindset like myself – grab a pen and paper and see if any of these will work for you!
“Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re not. The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.” Baz Luhrman
FIGHT THE BLUES:
GRATITUDE
When you find yourself knee deep in a pool of peanut butter Cheerios, self pity and waffles again – wondering why you don’t want those healthy egg cups, or spinach omelettes you once liked so much, gratitude practice is the first action to take. The nausea, food aversions, emotions, and exhaustion are all signs a miracle is happening. Remember how grateful we are to be given this opportunity. Every wave of nausea, trip to the bathroom, or fetus fart is a sign your baby is thriving. Of course, we are going to make it, one nap at a time. Write down as many things you can think of that you are grateful for, and try not to cry. . . because . . . hormones.
UNDERSTAND THE SEASON
How many times do you think you’ll experience pregnancy? Let’s say you have two kids within 10 years, that’s 18 of 120 months you’ll experience feeling like this. Or say you have two kids and live until you’re 80 that’s 18/960 months or .02% of your life. It is not selfish, or wrong (especially if this is your first baby) to enjoy the sleep, explore the season as you experience it (peanut butter cheerios and all) and give yourself some grace. You will NEVER get to sleep like this again, or for a long, long time. You have a very important job right now. While there may be so many things you feel you’re losing momentum on (health, side hustle, career aspirations), know that their importance will remain as strong as ever if you want them badly enough. Let yourself fully experience the season you are in right now – and observe how you both rise and fall. You are learning valuable things right now, and you were made for this. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. And remember – if all you do is wake up, shower, and put your pjs back on – you are doing great mama!
WRITE ABOUT YOUR STRUGGLES … AND THEN WRITE 10 POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
I heard a woman once say “If there’s a problem I haven’t solved, chances are I’ve only tried to solve it once and never revisited it.” She started me off with the habit of recording my problem or dilemma in a notebook and writing 10 different ways to solve it. When I do this, 99% of the time – I am my own damn hero.
Examples of Struggles:
1. Peeing all night: Drink 1 giant glass of water upon waking. Aim to drink 1.5 litres of water before lunch time. Drink 1.5 more litres of water before 8pm. Never leave home without a water bottle. Use a portable water filter stick if you’re afraid of tap water for re-filling. Only sip water after 8pm. Sleep on the side closest to the washroom.
2. Cooking makes you want to vomit: Stop googling pregnancy for a minute and look up quick, no-cook meals on Pinterest. Overnight oats for the whole week has zero smell, and you can make 5 jars in less than 5 minutes. They can be loaded with pumpkin seeds, hemp hearts, peanut butter and almond milk for a delicious, filling, nutritious breakfast. Grilled cheese sandwiches are fast and easy to make. Find an array of favourite cheese, olives, carrot sticks and celery sticks to keep on hand to fill you up when dinner just isn’t happening. Ask your spouse to take over supper duty, but make sure they aren’t offended if you exit the vicinity while cooking, or only take a bite or two before reaching for the peanut butter Cheerios.
3. Workout motivation: Stack the odds of following through by putting out workout gear, shoes, ponytail and a water bottle out, or packing it in advance for a fitness class. Make it a priority to wash your comfiest workout pants and tee so it’s clean and ready, or spoil yourself and invest in some new ones! Find a fun new playlist! My favourite Spotify playlist is called “Guilty Pleasures” – hello BSB and No Doubt! You don’t need to endure any workout you dread – try 15 minutes of walking, or 5 and just see how it feels. Remember – cardiovascular benefits are experienced after only10 minutes of walking!
GET OFF THE PHONE
Get outside, walk, read, visit a friend, finish that online picture album or make something! Just put the phone down. If it’s week 4 of the polar vortex like 2019 February in Edmonton, head to the Muttart Conservatory and hang out with the gorgeous plants and flowers. If that doesn’t work – visiting the flower section at Safeway also makes me very happy! There’s something about soil and greenery that can boost your mood and help a gal feel less anxious. Whatever it may be, find a few activities that involve taking time away from your phone. Unknowingly, all the stimulation that comes from texts, Facebook, Instagram burns up your energy and mental headspace. You will feel much better when that screen time report comes in and your usage has gone way down! I’ll bet your mood has gone way up instead!
WRITE YOURSELF A FEW REMINDERS (IN YOUR PHONE, ON A NOTEPAD, AGENDA)
If you can hang in there, it’s going to be 2pm and you’re NOT going to feel like head bobbing at your desk! You are going to have gusts of wind come into your sails and you’re going to recognize yourself! Although they might not last for more than one day in a row, they will come. You are going to get back to healthy cooking and actually want vegetables! You are going to actually feel like eating things! You are going to do the one thing that’s been sitting for a month now on your to-do list, and it’s going to feel AWESOME! No matter how emotionally and mentally strong you think you are – I think this period of time is supposed to take us back to school. Embrace it, and trust the process. You are going somewhere beautiful.
Here are a few reminders I wrote for myself to read as often as possible:
